You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
