how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
