fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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