it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
