i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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