Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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