did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
