chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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