yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
