sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Come on in and take your pants off
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