I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
