my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
