it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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