i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
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It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
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I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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