I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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