areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
