Sry I called you an 8
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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