We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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