Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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