I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize