How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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