I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
