Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
