I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
