dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
