I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
