Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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