yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
