piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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