I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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