FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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