3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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