She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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