Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
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Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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