I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize