yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
