There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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