Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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