you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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