omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
