I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
