How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
