what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
