i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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