Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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