one two three fourrrrnication!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
