Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
