I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
