Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
