Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize