okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I looked at my own cervix.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
