I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
