I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
only you would photoshop your dick
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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