Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
