why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
