come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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