Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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