he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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