Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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