Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
