Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
