I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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