remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
