walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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