I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
